My Apology (to the men)
I'm tired of playing the tough girl,
the one I was raised to be.
Cause the truth of the matter is
that just isn't me.
I've fought and fought but
it wasn't in vain,
Cause it taught me strength
and how to numb my pain.
But it's hard being so strong
when the devil is all around
And almost every man in my life
has let me down.
My father, some lovers, and
even some friends,
Have took all I had
and left me to mend.
I have picked up the pieces of my heart
and restored them like new
And of course, my mom says
"I am proud of you."
But really what is there
to proud of?
That I hide my feelings, mask my emotions
fear love.
While everyone else has
to feel the wrath of my storm
Cause I think every man
is out to do harm.
I trust no one
and I am all alone.
There's no place
that I can call "home"
Lord, Im down and out
and I need healing.
From all these evil feelings
that Im feeling.
And I know that You're
the only one who
Hears my calls please be there
to catch me when I fall.
As I am writing these words
tears are continuously rolling down my face.
Cause of all my emotions
are coming to place.
I am sad and hopeful
all at the same time.
Cause Im about to win this war
and victory shall be mine.
Im taking off my mask
and revealing the real me.
And im really nervous
for you to see:
That Im just a woman,
and it's true what they say:
Im emotional, nurturing, and loving
all on a good day.
Then I am angry,
weak, and jealous at the end of the week,
But that's who I am
and Im asking that you accept me.
So here is my apology
for taking it out on you.
I just want to be happy and respected,
just as you do.
But I refuse to be deceited,
and talked down upon.
I am a woman with class
and expect to be treated like one.
Im going to stay on your case
like I do all the rest.
Cause I know your potential
and I want you to be your best.
Please forgive me for wanting
to be perfect for you.
But I realize I cannot
and that's a harsh truth.
So take me as I am now,
with a pure and open heart.
I want you in my life,
whether side by side or apart.
**Write to Brittny N. Johnson at brjohns07@yahoo.com**
the one I was raised to be.
Cause the truth of the matter is
that just isn't me.
I've fought and fought but
it wasn't in vain,
Cause it taught me strength
and how to numb my pain.
But it's hard being so strong
when the devil is all around
And almost every man in my life
has let me down.
My father, some lovers, and
even some friends,
Have took all I had
and left me to mend.
I have picked up the pieces of my heart
and restored them like new
And of course, my mom says
"I am proud of you."
But really what is there
to proud of?
That I hide my feelings, mask my emotions
fear love.
While everyone else has
to feel the wrath of my storm
Cause I think every man
is out to do harm.
I trust no one
and I am all alone.
There's no place
that I can call "home"
Lord, Im down and out
and I need healing.
From all these evil feelings
that Im feeling.
And I know that You're
the only one who
Hears my calls please be there
to catch me when I fall.
As I am writing these words
tears are continuously rolling down my face.
Cause of all my emotions
are coming to place.
I am sad and hopeful
all at the same time.
Cause Im about to win this war
and victory shall be mine.
Im taking off my mask
and revealing the real me.
And im really nervous
for you to see:
That Im just a woman,
and it's true what they say:
Im emotional, nurturing, and loving
all on a good day.
Then I am angry,
weak, and jealous at the end of the week,
But that's who I am
and Im asking that you accept me.
So here is my apology
for taking it out on you.
I just want to be happy and respected,
just as you do.
But I refuse to be deceited,
and talked down upon.
I am a woman with class
and expect to be treated like one.
Im going to stay on your case
like I do all the rest.
Cause I know your potential
and I want you to be your best.
Please forgive me for wanting
to be perfect for you.
But I realize I cannot
and that's a harsh truth.
So take me as I am now,
with a pure and open heart.
I want you in my life,
whether side by side or apart.
**Write to Brittny N. Johnson at brjohns07@yahoo.com**
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| Brittny Johnson |
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